Woundology & the Healing Process ~ Dr. Bairavee Balasubramaniam

Dr. Bairavee Balasubramaniam, The Sky Priestess, has written a superb article on the issue of the themes of Chiron, the Wounded Healer, the healing process and woundology. The article is reposted here in it´s entirety because apart from being simply excellent it wouldn´t do it any justice to cut it into pieces.

Below you can click the links to a few of Bairavee´s articles on the subject that are equally enlightening. Enjoy!

Woundology is basically the idea that we hold onto our wounds because they are comfortable or familiar. We learn the language of the wound, how it works, why it’s there, but remain within the consciousness that feeds and nurtures its existence. Because that is ‘the new normal’ and it brings with it the opportunity for a shared sense of identification.

The term itself was coined by Caroline Myss, from her book ‘Why People Don’t Heal and How They Can’. It’s probably one of the most-needed concepts in our collective engagement with the term ‘healing’ and the ‘wounded healer’ archetype. Highly recommended. This is my take on her work, especially in light of recent observations and awakenings within myself.

Caroline Myss makes the persuasive case – that for some people – the work of healing gets stunted by an over-dependence on the tools that we initially set out to use to heal. She found that her peers felt more at home attending the workshops, going for therapy, courses, sessionsanything that kept that experience of the wound and its need for healing alive. They reacted badly to the idea of moving out of those spaces (at some point) and that they could develop a sense of self, community and kinship not anchored within their wounds.

In other words, they had become attached to the ‘healing process’, rather than the end-state or goal (if you can call it that) of ‘healing’.

But why would someone do that, you might ask? Why would someone become ‘comfortable’ with their wounds and engage a healing journey that never seems to end?

Myss’ argument is that having certain wounds and going on a shared journey of healing makes it possible to relate to others and create shared bonds of identification. The rationale was that if the wounds no longer existed, they would lose such – I’m calling it – ‘families of healing’.

Hence .. the tool becomes a crutch.

It’s a similar kind of dynamic when you see a person who knows they’re in pain, but, at a deep and profound level, does not wish to heal despite what they say on the surface.

In toxic relationships, it’s the same kind of behavior you see when one partner shifts their level of consciousness to something healthier, and the other partner completely loses it. They become angry, accusative, irritable and make the partner searching for something better into the ‘villain’.

The unspoken accusation is this:

How dare you shift the carefully calibrated balance we’ve built up around our wounds?

And let’s face it, some people, friendships & families stay together just keep their wounds alive – not because it’s pleasurable, but because it’s what they know. And so the same goes with an over-dependence on certain spiritual tools, concepts, paradigms and circles. We get attached to those families of healing. We subconsciously begin to fear losing them and forget their original purpose. And in that fear, we forget that human relationships thrive when they have to evolve and discover new ways of being, together.

The question is whether we want bonds that are forged through shared wounds (which is alright in itself as a starting point), and whether those bonds can survive healing out of those wounds (which is the big question). If the recovering self fears losing these ties, it’s going to make sure that it doesn’t have to face that eventuality. If you’re in a relationship where your partner does not want you to heal, he or she is going to feel threatened by your efforts to do so.

So – in other words – Woundology – as a concept – reveals to us how we may be self-sabotaging the healing process, irrespective of (externally) how much efforts we appear to be making. It speaks to those who seek healing from others – and – those who heal others themselves.

As facilitators, it is important for us to question whether our work feeds into our own/others’ needs to ‘keep the wound in place’. Much like the band-aid that provides temporary relief or the palliative that allows us to manage without shifting the roots of things.

Does the work we do actually lead to a shifting of/away from those wounds – be it for ourselves or our clients?
Does the work we do encourage attachments born of the wound, but unable to survive – or evolve through – its transcendence?

I ask myself these questions (of me, and of the clients I work with) before consenting to do a session. If I feel my session will simply keep them in the same vibe/head-space of ‘wanting to heal, but not really’, I decline to conduct the session and explain my reasons for it.

It brings a greater sense of clarity to the focus of the work and the shifting that it facilitates. I highly recommend this moment or practice of reflection to others, should they resonate with it.

Blessings To All,

Dr. Bairavee Balasubramaniam PhD
The Sky Priestess

This article:

WHEN DOES THE WOUNDED HEALER, HEAL? Reflections on Woundology (Part 1)

 

Her other articles on Chiron, wounds & healing:

Tracing the Path of Cupid´s Arrow: The Romanticization of Woundedness in Relationship Dynamics

Spiritual Shaming, Self-Worth and Why Suffering Isn’t the Way You Need To Go …

 

Articles from January 2017 on the astrological energies that set the tone for this year´s transformative eclipses on the Leo/Aquarius axis. We are evolving from the Virgo/Pisces energies (shedding our victim consciousness) and stepping into the sovereignty consciousness of humanity (freeing ourselves from the matrix/old religions) and as Jupiter is in Libra until November these energies will play out in our relationships:

THE SKY ISN ´ T THE LIMIT: SERPENTINE ENERGIES, KARMIC PURGING BEFORE THE AQUARIUS NEW MOON (January 26)

AQUARIUS NEW MOON : MAGIC, BUT AT WHAT COST? CUTTING THE CORD ON ANCIENT PATTERNS OF ABUSE (January 28)